30 days …. #4

So I did not get on here and write yesterday. Not because I did not look at the assignment and not because I did not think about it off and on all day. There was actually two reasons I did not do it, first – my hubby was actually home at a decent hour and the kids went to bed on time so I spent some quality time with the hubby! That does not come along very often! Second – I am not sure what I want to write about this assignment. I am supposed to write about a habit I wish I did not have. hmmmm……. I quit smoking a year ago, so check! I really am not a big drinker, although there are those tough mommy days that a beer sounds like just the solution at the end of the day! 🙂 I am not a big gossiper, really do not talk to much of anyone to gossip lol! I really am not a procrastinator or lazy. I would rather just get something done and over with than keep putting it off. And I really have a hard time sitting still. My house is not ever really “messy”. We may have some toys out during the day, or a few dishes here or there. But every night before I go to bed the house is picked up, everything is put into its ‘place’, dishes are done and bottles are washed and made for the night. Maybe Facebook and reading blogs are my bad habit, but not sure that I would wish those away. Those are my only contact with everyone I know in the states! 🙂 So the only thing that I can come up with, and I am not really sure it fits, is the way that sometimes I wish life away. I have no patience. I never have. It is something I do feel like I am working on. But I catch myself wishing life away sometimes! For instance right now… I am still waiting on my household goods. They are scheduled to be here November 30. I keep thinking I can’t wait for all my stuff to get here! I can’t wait for November 30. And than I stop and remind myself… the quicker November 30th gets here, the quicker it will be December, then January, then the dreaded month of February where Branden leaves us for a whole year.  I do not want the time as a family to go buy any quicker than completely necessary! I also find myself wishing that Jack could roll over, or sit up on his own, start eating solids. That him and Kinsy could interact with each other more… but the trade-off for that would be that my little baby is gone. My LAST baby. Why would I wish that time away for him? I should be cherishing more of this time before he gets too big to want his momma.  I should be cherishing my babies period, not just simply waiting for bed time on those horrible bad days. So I guess that is my habit that I need to get rid of. I need to slow down. I need to sit on the floor more and make silly noises or have a tea party. When Kinsy wants to dance with me, I need to drop what I am doing and just dance! Does it really matter in the big scheme of life if my dishes were done before bed or if the living room was spotless when I laid down?? The answer is no…. on my dying day…. I do not believe my last thought will be about how clean something is. Instead I will be thinking about my family and the things I wish I could say or do with them. So I need to learn to let go a little bit, laugh a little more and occasionally…. walk around the mess!

Published in: on November 11, 2010 at 7:49 pm  Comments (1)  

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  1. Amen! i think this is a struggle for many of us; i tell myself continously to just SIT with the kids for a while and do nothing except BE with them. This time does pass quickly, and you’re so right – none of us will be thinking, “Damn, i wish i’d kept my house cleaner” in those last few moments of our lives!

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