slipping into a new routine…

So it has been awhile since I did a post, so many things have happened! Branden is now bravely fighting for our country and the kids and I are here trying to get into a new routine. It has gone much smoother than I anticipated. I think Kinsy is having the hardest time with it. She misses her daddy so much and asks about him every day. She has a hug a hero doll, it is a doll that is dressed in acu’s (camo) and on the face of the doll you can put a picture in it, so the doll has her daddy’s face. That doll now goes EVERYWHERE with us! I don’t mind, it is kind of nice to see his face all the time. We are getting into our new routine of blowing kisses at the moon every night before bed (to daddy) and catching the kisses he blows and smashing them into our heart! 🙂 Then we take a Hershey kiss out of our kiss container and get our kiss from daddy. Our kiss containers hold 350 kisses per container, one for each night he will be gone (minus R&R). I feel like it is a way for Kinsy to have a visual on how long he will be gone. I am in the process of decorating our kiss containers, so as soon as I am done I will post pics of that and the hug a hero doll!

I have decided that I am going to take this year and work on me. Of course I will be taking care of my children in the process, but I want to start feeling good about myself again. I have started to talk to someone about the anxiety I have had since my mom has passed and that does seem to be helping, with some medication right now also. I also have found a friend that will watch the kids every morning and I have been going to the gym. I will be honest, I am sore right now! But the other honest thing is… I like it. I like to have these sore muscles, I like the feel right when I am leaving the gym of being fatigued and sweaty and sore. It makes me feel like I am doing something! I have started changing my diet to a healthier diet. I think giving up the sodas is gonna be easier than I thought, now the EIS might be a whole ‘nother story! Luckily the EIS truck has not come down my street yet, I am not sure that I can say no to that temptation! The kids and I are scheduled to get away for a few days at the end of the month. We are going to a resort and I am going to take some marriage classes aimed at the spouse left here during a deployment and also some things for the kids and I to do together. Plus the photos of the resort are beautiful! I can not wait to go learn, hang out with my kids and relax and swim and take pictures with my new camera! I also have been playing with my cricut and starting on my scrap booking stuff. I have not taken time for me for a really long time. I find that doing this right now is also making me a better mom. I feel like I am more patient with the kids. It is even helping me get over some of my anxiety problems. I am too tired at the end of the night to do the ritual cleaning and to not be able to sleep because of the things I think. Plus this time since he has left is already FLYING  by, I can only hope it keeps going this way.

I have talked to him a few times and I love the sound of his voice. I thought it would make it harder when I talked to him, I thought I would cry every time we hung up not knowing when I would speak to him again. It does hurt and there is almost a constant lump in my chest. But I want him to know I am strong, I have this under control.  I want him to come home to healthy, happy and adjusted children. I also want him to come home to a smokin’ hot wife! lol There is nothing I can do to change this situation, I knew that this was not just a possibility, but would happen, when we signed up. So I can’t sit and keep crying the blues. I just have to wake up every morning, say my prayer for his safety that day and then take my children through the routine of their day the best I can. And in this year I believe Branden and I will come out even stronger than when he left and I believe I will be a healthier person also!

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Published in: on March 9, 2011 at 7:23 pm  Leave a Comment  

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