over it!!!

That is right, I said it, I am over this deployment!! I am ready for it to be done and over with already and we have not even hit the half way mark yet! I feel like I am on some emotional rollercoaster and no matter how loud I yell that I want off, it just keeps going and going and going. I know I am not the only one that feels like this. It doesn’t make it suck any less!

 Branden is missing sooo much with his kids and some days that is very frustrating to me. I feel like the memories of their childhood will be mine only. Kinsy is so funny and so lovey. But she can be quite the pill also. She loves to give kisses to Jack and I. She just learned what best friends are and she tells me that Jack, Daddy, Roman and myself are her best friends. Then she told me I am allowed to be daddy’s best friend! She also is planning on marrying Roman, since he is her best friend and all. The girl is crazy for princess right now! Every toy, every movie and every outfit she wears revolves around princesses. She has 6 little ones that she carries EVERYWHERE with her in a purse. They have become my greatest weapon! Don’t do something mommy asks you to and you will lose a princess! It is amazing how much she is beginning to cooperate since I learned this. We have also officially hit the mimicking age, you really have to watch what you say and do around this girl, she will copy it all!  Then we have Jack…… he just turned one last Friday! My baby is now a toddler! He thinks he is hilarious and his smile will melt anyone and he knows that. He walks all over the place and now thinks he can run and climb stairs also. He refuses to let me feed him ANYTHING, he must do it by himself. Bottles are gone and we are officially on sippy cups and whole milk! He loves his big sister and thinks she hung the moon and wants to do everything just like her. And that includes the princesses, I have bought him all kinds of “boy” toys, but there will be atleast one fight a day because he wants to play princesses with her! He now says Mama, dada, bye and is starting his own language as well.

I feel like there is so much I want to say on here tonight, but my mind is just too jumbled, it has been on of those days. I guess I am just feeling lonely and homesick and tired of being a “Single” parent. I just wish I had Branden to talk it over with, but on days like today that he is “too tired” and “too sore” to talk… I just get frustrated, I feel those things too…. but it doesn’t make me  not want to talk to him. Quite honestly, the kids don’t care how tired or sore I am… I have to keep trucking…. so I get frustrated when I can’t vent because he is tired.

Oh well…. tomorrow will come and we will make it through it. We will keep moving forward!