So September 8th huh?? That was my last post and well…. that is just pitiful. I have actually been thinking about this blog quite a bit lately, thinking about how neglectful I have been. Then two of my facebook friends and fellow army wives updated theirs after a neglectful period and truth be told, I felt like if they could, I should too!

I sit here writing this tonight from the floor of Jack’s bedroom. It seems that my little guy now has problems going to sleep on his own. I refuse to take him out of his crib and he refuses to quit screaming. So our compromise is that I sit on the floor in his room until he goes to sleep on his own. I am hoping that this will get him back into the good habits he had before our trip to the states…… speaking of which….. I guess I should fill in the blanks since Sept. 8th!!

Highlights: Saw Trace Adkins in concert, man is he HOT! That voice melts me! Kinsy is in three day preschool and absolutely loves it! She finished the soccer year and got her very first trophy (not so hot on actually playing the game, she spent more time on the sidelines crying that they took the ball from her!). She is still in gymnastics and doing great. She goes to speech therapy once a week and is doing amazing! Her speech is so much clearer and she is constantly practicing at home. I am amazed every day at the conversations we hold now. And if I don’t understand something she is saying she works very hard to use her sounds correctly to make me understand. Princesses are still her favorite right now along with her polly pockets and her barbies. She is starting to get interested in writing letters (her name more than anything) and is turning 4 years old tomorrow!! Jack is my little wild man, I joke and say his name should have been Evel Knievel Houdini Payne! He is into everything and if he can’t get into it, well than he is gonna climb it! And he is so quick, here one sec and gone the next! He can say momma, dada, hello, hi, all done (speaking and sign), more (sign), whats this, wants this, bye bye, up, down, i dance. And a few other things that I am still not a 100% but he says them pretty regularly, so I am sure that they are a word LOL. He loves his cars and loves to drive them everywhere, including up and down me or his sister. We are usually dragging at least on car with us wherever we go. His best bud is Jake and they do everything together. He has the cutest smile and he is pretty sure that his dimples are gonna get him out of all the troubles in his life. hmmm……

The kids dressed up this Halloween as the Little Mermaid and Woody from Toy Story. They were the cutest little things I had ever seen. Jack’s buddy Jake went as Buzz Lightyear. Everywhere we walked people commented on the boys and told Kinsy how beautiful she was. By the end of the night Kinsy came up to me and was so proud saying everyone loved her mermaid dress! The day after Halloween we spent packing and then we left the following day to the states. We visited for 5 weeks there. While there we saw ALL of our family, my sister got married, cousin remembered what it was like to have cousins to play with and Aunts and Uncles and Grandparents. Both kids were spoiled, I got occasional breaks and got to go hang out with my friends. There were a few stressful situations, but all in all I was glad I got to see everyone. 5 weeks though is a very long time, not so sure I would do it again for that long. I missed my home (so weird to think of Germany as home!). But we survived two international trips! (not sure I want to do that again on my own either!)

Then back to Germany and trying to get into our old routine. Jet lag sucks ass and then as soon as that passes we get a sick baby :(. Kinsy only had school two days and gymnastics once before the Christmas break, so we are excited for that to start back up. Christmas turned out much better than I expected since it was going to be our first without Branden. We have amazing friends here who helped make it a special day even without the daddies around! The kids were very spoiled and got everything they asked for and then some! I got a beautiful necklace that has all of our birthstones and McKinsy and Jackson on it. Branden had it shipped here so I would have it Christmas morning and I have to say he did a great job, I absolutely love it! The only thing that could have made Christmas better was for him to actually be here.

Speaking of Branden, we are getting so much closer. Still can not post and actual day, for OPSEC reasons, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I think these last few weeks are harder than all the rest of the deployment at this point. I think it is just because I am done, I am ready to be a family again. I want to just be mommy and not mommy/daddy. I am ready for my best friend and partner to be back. I know he is ready too. He is tired and misses his kids and misses me and he just wants to be home. It makes for very sad conversations lately. There has been a lot of homecomings since October and I will be honest (hell it is my blog, I can say whatever I want!) I am happy those guys are home, I am happy that they are a whole family unit again. I am happy their kids get to see them. And I am happy they are safe. BUT…. I am jealous. I want it to be my turn. I am tired of hearing it is not my turn yet. In the last two years, the longest stretch I have had is 4 months. Between basic, ait, him moving here without us, training for deployment and then deployment itself, I have done my share. I have done “my turn” plus some. I want it over now! But it is coming, not soon enough, but it is coming. I have gone almost 26 months since we have started this journey, I can finish up this last little leg. Then hopefully he will be ours for awhile. I am not so silly to think he will never deploy again, I just pray every night that when he comes home to us, it will be for a little while. We are ready for Uncle Sam to learn to share a little better and give us our turn now!

So that has been our life the last few months, well as brief as I could make it. I am hoping to keep this up better. Maybe the sitting on Jack’s floor time will make me take a few minutes each night to do this!

Published in: on December 26, 2011 at 8:14 pm  Comments (1)