what I learned this last week…

I miss my husband! LOL! No seriously, I am never, ever, ever and one more ever gonna move without him again. Thank God for great friends that were here to help me out! I don’t know how I would have done it without all the help I got. Now I am just putting everything away. I have decided that it is no fun to put it away alone either, at least¬†not with the help of a 3 yr old and 10 month old! I also can not decide how to put my living room furniture and quite honestly McKinsy is no help with that one. ūüė¶¬†I sent Branden a message that we may be rearranging furniture when he comes home.¬†I really thought that I was pretty smart, until I tried to hook the Wii and Playstation and surround sound back up, then decided that the kids and I will live without that stuff until Branden comes home on R&R!! And those dressers that come in the box for you to put together yourself… well there should be a warning on them that you need some kind of engineering degree. That damn thing took me two days and I have a callous on my hand from all the screws I had to screw in! Kinsy also is not very good at interior decorating, but she is great at throwing her stuff in the boxes to be brought over!

On a more positive spin though – I learned that when it comes down to it… I can get the job done. I am capable of setting my pride aside and asking for help. That even though I thought about putting that dresser aside, I pushed through and took my time and it is done and it looks great! That the house will eventually get unpacked, I am only one person with two small kids and there is only so much I can do in a day! I can’t wait for Branden to come home and see his new house!

And cute moment of the day РFirst thing this morning Kinsy, Jack and me were cuddled on the couch watching Disney channel. We have not had tv for 3 days so this was exciting, but the cute part is Kinsy hugged Jack and told him that he is her best friend and he smiled at her and kissed her! I so love my kiddos and I love watching this bond between them develop! Now off to fill that dresser I built and then get ready and maybe give my kids a break at the park today!

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Published in: on May 29, 2011 at 8:14 am  Leave a Comment  

battle of wills……

I have decided that the war between mother and daughter, adult and child, the rule maker and the rule breaker has officially started. I have also decided that I HATE the age of 3! Maybe hate is a pretty strong word, some days she is cute and she is very funny. Those are the days that make me forget that under that sweet little voice and cute smile lies a 3 year old. If you have had a 3 year old you know what I mean. The following is what I am quickly learning that being 3 means:

It¬†means occasionally they will dress themselves, until you are in a hurry and then they will lay there like a limp rag and suddenly they don’t remember how to do it or they can put their shoes¬†on when they are throwing a fit to go out, but if mommy¬†wants to get out the door quick¬†they: A. they don’t know where they took the damn shoes off and B. the suddenly forgot how shoes work!

It also means they will tell you how starved they are, make them a healthy meal and they sit and stare at it, then when they finally convince you that they are full and you throw it away, it never fails that 15 minutes later they will ask for some kind of crap!!!!

A 3 year old has no problem demanding for stuff to be done for her, but let me ask her how to do something to help me out and suddenly she is a deaf-mute!!!!!!

¬†A 3 year old has the attention span of a gnat… they may start off cleaning up the toys, until one catches their eye, then they forget all about¬†cleaning, bed time or anything else that happened before they saw that toy. They will also look at you like a deer caught in the headlights when you ask them what they are doing¬†and why they are not cleaning!
 
And I do not know who tells them on their 3rd birthday that they have a say in what rules are being made! But if I find that person I will put them over my knee and send them to bed with no dinner! 
 
I know that those of you with older children are going to tell me that this is just the beginning, that she will continue to test me for the rest of her years. This is only the beginning of her talking back and thinking that she knows everything. So I am officially putting my game face on and saying BRING IT! This momma is prepared for battle! 
 
Published in: on May 2, 2011 at 5:56 pm  Comments (2)  

life on the move

So I am struggling, I feel the need to write on my blog, but about what I am really not sure. This time of night that I am writing is always the hardest but also can be the best part of my day. It is the time from when I put the kids in bed until I go to bed. Some days I have so much to do in this time, others it gives me too much time to think. I really don’t want to write another post about the deployment, even though the reality is THAT is my life. We have been super busy, just not anything real interesting to write about.¬† I know everyone gets tired of the kiddisms… but that sometimes is the only thing that makes me smile through out the day! Kinsy has a few new funnies – her new way to say strawberries sounds a lot like she is saying charlieberries. I love it and I make her say it over and over! She has figured out that she will get in trouble for saying shut up. So she has gone to saying shut down. I am really not sure how to respond to this since she technically is not saying shut up, but that is definitely¬†what she means. The other day I told her that she was pushing my buttons, she then informed me that I push hers all the time! I also was so frustrated I told her I was going to give her away, instead of stopping the bad behavior she told me to go ahead! She said she wanted to be given away! Jack is getting VERY clingy, he is definitely a momma’s boy. But he is totally cruising now. He can walk around the table and he can walk down the couches. He has also decided that he is brave enough to grab from the table to the couch and back. I don’t think it will be long before he is cruising around on his own and I honestly can not wait for him to walk. I also have started to plan his first birthday, we are going to do a cowboy themed party! I just can’t wait! As for me, I have been busy being mommy. But I have been finding time to still be working out. I have been going to the gym and I am up to 3.5 miles on the elliptical and doing the machines. Today I started doing hip hop abs and I loved it! I am totally gonna get my skinny on before Branden comes home! NOt much else to talk about so I guess I will leave with a pic or two!

Published in: on April 18, 2011 at 6:53 pm  Leave a Comment  

prayers needed..

Yesterday this deployment became very, very real. Not that we all were not feeling it, but it is easy to pretend they are off on some training exercise. Yesterday was the first time, and hopefully the last time, that a red message alert came over the computer. A red message informs us (after the family has been notified) that there has been a casualty in our community. Unfortunately, two brave soldiers lost their lives on Monday. I read that one was married with two small children, the other there was no information. My brain did not know how to wrap around this yesterday. I cried for the loss of two of our men, I cried for their families whose lives are now forever changed, I cried for the¬†realization that this is REAL this is not a training exercise. I couldn’t wrap my head around the thought that while I was out running errands, on this very same post some family was getting the news that they were never going to see their loved one again. I know there have been lots of brave souls lost, but this is close to home. These are the same guys that left with my husband. Branden reassures me every phone call that he is ok, not to worry and he will be home soon, but did these other soldiers do the same thing to their wives? I am fully aware that this is their jobs, that this is a risk we all took when they joined…. but that doesn’t make my heart ache any less for all of those families who have lost a loved one. I wish I could just give them all a hug, I don’t know how they feel and I hope that I never do, but I can tell them how sorry I am and how grateful we all are to their soldier. It isn’t much, I know……..

*** post interrupted by skype call from my hubby!****

Now I have lost my train of thought…. so I will just end saying, please keep our soldiers and their families in your prayers. Both sacrifice so much. And to the families of Sgt. Burgess and¬†Sgt. Lammerts, you are in my heart and in my prayers. If¬†anyone knows them and there is anything I can do for these families… please, please let me know.

Published in: on April 6, 2011 at 12:16 pm  Comments (2)  

happy dance!

I am currently sitting in my room at Edelweiss in Garmish. This place is BEAUTIFUL! I am so glad that I got the chance to have this experience. I have met some great women, Kinsy has found all kinds of new “friends” and I am seeing beautiful landscape. The mountains here are amazing. I am used to seeing mountains being from Arizona, but those mountains to not even began to compare to the Bavarian Alps. These mountains here seem to jet straight up and go on FOREVER! I really have not seen the top of them since it has been so cloudy here. The resort itself is so pretty and so relaxing. I was scheduled tomorrow for a day trip to Munich and I was sooo¬†excited to go there and see all the¬†stuff on the tour and get lots of pics. Unfortunately, Jack has been very congested since before we left and he is just not getting better. He is having a really hard time at the CDC and just not sleeping or eating for them. So instead of going out I will be staying at the resort with my munchkins. I am hoping to spend the day swimming and maybe if the weather cooperates a walk around Garmish. This get away was just what I needed. I am hoping that this renews me and gives me that little boost that I need to keep going! And I do have to throw in that the marriage classes I am taking are great! The guy giving them is so funny and he totally speaks the truth. I really hope when Branden gets home we have the chance to take this together.. I really think he would enjoy it also. But now it is time for me to slip into my hotel bed and lay my head down for a few winks!

Published in: on March 28, 2011 at 9:19 pm  Leave a Comment  

Sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy :)

All I wanted to write today….

I love sunshine, I love the warmth we are finally getting. I love being able to wear t-shirts¬†outside. I love taking my kids out without them freezing and their little noses turning red. I love hearing the eis¬†man coming by our building. I am so happy that it seems that spring is finally in Baumholder! May the sun keep shining and the temp get warmer and warmer! Gonna be time to plant some flowers here soon, can’t wait to see the beautiful posies on my window ledge! ūüôā

Happy Spring! ūüôā

Published in: on March 24, 2011 at 1:23 pm  Comments (1)  

Hug a Hero Daddy Doll and kiss containers

Here are the pics of the kiss containers and the Daddy hug a hero dolls that I said I would post…

 (From the top РHug a hero daddy doll, sides, front, top and back of Kiss Containers.)

Published in: on March 15, 2011 at 7:31 pm  Leave a Comment  

oh sunshine, how I love you!

It is absolutely amazing what a little sunshine and a little warmth can do for the soul! Today was amazing and a great glimpse of what the summer is here in Baumholder! This weather was just what we needed, the kids were out getting fresh air, I got to sit around and socialize with friends… and Kinsy’s¬†favorite part of the afternoon, the Eis¬†man at the park! God that ice cream is sooooo¬†good!¬† So bad for the diet, but delicious! I guess tomorrow’s walk to the lake will have to have a little more umph¬†behind it to work off the spaghetti ice and chocolate sauce and whip cream!

(that was my delicious Eis!) Kinsy managed to get herself 2 ice cream cones today! I bought her one, then she played the sweet baby girl role and got Kylie to buy her another one, that girl really knows what she is doing!¬† Then we came home and got ourselves dinner and baths and the kids were in bed by 7! That is what I call a great day! The only thing that could have made today better was a phone call from my hubby, but I did get a text from him today and he said that he loved and missed us, so I will take that! I hope the rest of this deployment keeps going this way… so far, besides Jack’s late night parties, it has been pretty manageable!

Published in: on March 15, 2011 at 7:13 pm  Leave a Comment  

slipping into a new routine…

So it has been awhile since I did a post, so many things have happened! Branden is now bravely fighting for our country and the kids and I are here trying to get into a new routine. It has gone much smoother than I anticipated. I think Kinsy is having the¬†hardest time with it. She misses her daddy so much and asks about him every day. She has a hug a hero doll, it is a doll that is dressed in acu’s¬†(camo) and on the face of the doll you can put a picture in it, so the doll has her daddy’s face. That doll now goes EVERYWHERE with us! I don’t mind, it is kind of nice to see his face all the time. We are getting into our new routine of blowing kisses at the moon every night¬†before bed (to daddy) and catching the kisses he blows and smashing them into our heart! ūüôā Then we take a Hershey kiss out of our kiss container and get our kiss from daddy. Our kiss containers hold 350 kisses per container, one for each night he will be gone (minus R&R). I feel like it is a way for Kinsy to have a visual on how long he will be gone. I am in the process of decorating our kiss containers, so as soon as I am done I will post pics of that and the hug a hero doll!

I have decided that I am going to take this year and work on me. Of course I will be taking care of my children in the process, but I want to start feeling good about myself again. I have started to talk to someone about the anxiety I have had since my mom has passed and that does seem to be helping, with some medication right now also. I also have found a friend that will watch the kids every morning and I have been going to the gym. I will be honest, I am sore right now! But the other honest thing is… I like it. I like to have these sore muscles, I like the feel right when I am leaving the gym of being fatigued and sweaty and sore. It makes me feel like I am doing something! I have started changing my diet to a healthier diet. I think giving up the sodas is gonna be easier than I thought, now the EIS might be a whole ‘nother story! Luckily the EIS truck has not come down my street yet, I am not sure that I can say no to that temptation! The kids and I are scheduled to get away for a few days at the end of the month. We are going to a resort and I am going to take some marriage classes aimed at the spouse left here during a deployment and also some things for the kids and I to do together. Plus the photos of the resort are beautiful! I can not wait to go learn, hang out with my kids and relax and swim and take pictures with my new camera! I also have been playing with my cricut and starting on my scrap booking stuff. I have not taken time for me for a really long time. I find that doing this right now is also making me a better mom. I feel like I am more patient with the kids. It is even helping me get over some of my anxiety problems. I am too tired at the end of the night to do the ritual cleaning and to not be able to sleep because of the things I think. Plus this time since he has left is already FLYING¬† by, I can only hope it keeps going this way.

I have talked to him a few times and I love the sound of his voice. I thought it would make it harder when I talked to him, I thought I would cry every time we hung up not knowing when I would speak to him again. It does hurt and there is almost a constant lump in my chest. But I want him to know I am strong, I have this under control.¬† I want him to come home to healthy, happy and adjusted children. I also want him to come home to a smokin’ hot wife! lol There is nothing I can do to change this situation, I knew that this was not just a possibility, but would happen, when we signed up. So I can’t sit and keep crying the blues. I just have to wake up every morning, say my prayer for his safety that day and then take my children through the routine of their day the best I can. And in this year I believe Branden and I will come out even stronger than when he left and I believe I will be a healthier person also!

Published in: on March 9, 2011 at 7:23 pm  Leave a Comment  

Who would have thought????

Who would have thought that Taco Bell mild sauce would have understood my feelings so well?!?! I always knew I loved that place! ūüôā You never know where you will find support!

Published in: on February 23, 2011 at 7:38 pm  Leave a Comment